INSIDE OUT

I belong to a church that believes that practicing homosexual acts is not God's best plan... and I completely disagree with them. Some might (and others have) asked why I continue to be a part of this family and my answer is as follows: I might find another church that will agree with my beliefs on this issue. Yet, I'm quite sure that once there, I will also find a different topic in which we will disagree.

Interesting, this "worst of all holidays". I highly doubt that Thanksgiving, in this culture or others, would today be celebrated for the arrival of the first "scalping" incident. Original post I think we can all agree that Thanksgiving, today, is a moment where friends and families gather together from near and far. We greet, we meet. There are no pressures of gifting in any kind. It is about as least commercial as our holidays get. THIS is the reason I appreciate this "THANKS-giving" holiday.

I've decided that it's time we reinvent this term! I am getting really uncomfortable with associating myself with this name, "Christian". Not because I simply don't believe, but because of how the "church" represents this man called, Christ. To be called a Christian, one must "follow" Christ. Now, one would think that to follow him would be to try to do as he says and did. One would think that to do that, you would need to love each other as he loved. He was very forgiving toward those only "HE", in his perfection, could know were "sinful".

I am in such a good place these days. The euphoria, which is characteristic of my mental state, is back and I'm feeling lovely. The more I try to figure out life, the more liberal I become. How great for those around me!

Do you believe in God, but, are sick and tired of the institution of church? Yup, so am I. I was raised in a family where church was the thing to do. Well, not always. There were times where they would go full force and then stop going all together. It made no difference to me as a child. Isn't God everywhere? He was certainly in my heart. I found God in some of the people in churches. Just not all. I found God in people who have never stepped foot in church. There was something in them I found comfort in though. Reminds me of a lady at a well I've heard told about. The "church" didn't see much God in her... Jesus did though.

By this I mean, when you are asking God for something specific. I really want to believe it does. But in all honesty, do we really "know" if it does or not? Can we really honestly say that God answers our prayer? I can give you umpteen examples of prayers that haven't been "answered". I can hear some of you saying now, "sometimes an unanswered prayer IS an answered prayer!" Maybe. But what if the opposite happens? Might this too be an answer to prayer? What about those who pray to other gods. Might their god be answering their prayer if every request, whether answered or not, was an "answer to prayer" by their god? With this logic, why would anyone with false gods believe otherwise?

I find that music is the one way I really do find God. Music distracts me from all the "distractions". It allows me to focus in and worship the one true God, who is my father... and my friend. There is no guess-work when it comes to who he is through music. I find peace. I find life. It gives me the opportunity to abandon all of these questions in my mind and just rest in him. Maybe someday I will blog songs I've written and continue to write. I will be starting a "worship" team here where I live. It will be under the umbrella of my church, just given a go-ahead a few days ago.

There is a part of my journey that begins... and inevitably always ends with my love for God. Yes, yes, I know... "what is love anyway", I would say. Well, I still have that philosophical question parading around in my mind. However, this post is about how I know God's love for me is absolutely real and he cares for me (and others in similar journeys) along this quest for truth. I go to an amazing "church" called The Meeting House.

Why is it that many people in the church do this? Why is it that their "sin" is the first thing we want to teach them about? Ever hear about showing the love that Jesus would have us show to them first and forever! Is it EVER my job to talk to people about their sin? Shouldn't we just show them love and pray that Jesus shows them "HIS" truth? Why do we try to convince people that they need to come to our own convictions?

I know, I know. You think I'm REALLY stretching the limits on this one. Well, hear me out first. I don't have time to go through all of the scriptures right now to prove my case in a fashion that may or may not be convincing to you. However, I want to throw the thought out there and give you something to think about that you may not have thought about before. Okay, so here are some of my thoughts: We see, in the bible, that many things were done in the Old Testament for specific reasons for that time. Women, for instance, were considered "unclean" after giving birth to a boy. Interestingly enough, if you gave birth to a girl, you were DOUBLY "unclean" and needed to be in seclusion for double the amount of time than if you had given birth to a boy. Crazy isn't it? I believe that there were cleanliness issues surrounding these laws. I believe it was for safety that some of these laws were in place. The difference between the "uncleanliness" after having a girl compared to a boy puzzles me. But here's an example of a common held belief back in this culture. Another example is in regards to braided hair and wearing jewelry... (1 Peter 3:3 - NIV). It was thought that women shouldn't "adorn" themselves in this way. This was obviously a cultural belief, whereby braided hair was considered too "sexy" or even worn only by prostitutes of that day. So, it was fitting for women not to wear those things in fear of being considered "immodest". I agree with Peter, that women don't need to find their beauty in outward apparel. But, it seems that Peter was being quite specific on what he considered to be immodest.

Please don't tell me that the whole bible is the God-inspired, God-breathed, useful for correction and blah blah blah until you understand something about it. First of all, where did you see that written? Hmmm... RIGHT! In the B-I-B-L-E! Yet, how can one author... write about itself as a WHOLE book... without first becoming... that's right... "PART" of this 'book'!!!??? Please realize my frustration here. The author of those words, could not POSSIBLY be talking about the bible as a whole.. without that particular "book" even EXISTING yet!!!

Ya know, in all my search, I cannot once find where Jesus says that he is actually "GOD". In fact, I see many times where he directs people not to himself, but rather, to the Father. I've been raised (off and on) in the conservative Christian church. I have always come to view Jesus as God since I can remember. Christians say it's a mystery and call it, "Trinity": God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. All being God, but, all being separate at the same time. Mystery, indeed. Here is what I know to be true in my Faith. Believing that Jesus was not "God" does not change much in my belief.

Oh, how I've been struggling with this one!! Here are some reasons as to why I feel this way: - I would never force my grandchildren to be punished for my children's mistakes - I would never give them "riddles" to explain the why's of life. ESPECIALLY if it may mean the difference between life or death. - I would never ostracize another child (of a different race, ethnicity, or origin) simply because they were not my own children from my womb - I would never punish my child, leaving them in a desert for 40 years because they "doubted" me!!