INSIDE OUT

I received a few emails about others' experiences regarding miscarriages. Wow! I simply had no idea. Today, I was at the grocery store (it will get graphic here so turn away or stop reading altogether, cause this ain't pretty).

Ever since expressing my experiences, which no one person could ever really understand unless gone through, I have felt an innermost peace. Thanks to those thinking of me, praying for me, and sending amazing words of kindness and wisdom, my heart already feels worlds better.

I have been trying to come to terms with my miscarriage. For those of you who have gone through one, I am so truly mourning with you. I am so truly mourning FOR you now.

I have not wanted to talk about my miscarriage on my blog, other than the simple facts. I've had one. Now, let's move on. I did not want to feel "weak". I acknowledge that mourning the loss of a baby through a miscarriage is sorrowful and traumatic for women and their families. At first I didn't feel the loss. Now, I do.

WOW!! I am inundated with comments, messages, emails and phone calls. I am so grateful for the support and gentle words of wisdom. Any thoughts I ever had about holding back the news of a pregnancy, for fear of a first trimester miscarriage, has been set aside.

We chose to tell our young children that we were having a baby. We didn't feel the need to wait until we had passed the first trimester. We had been successful thus far. What would make us think we wouldn't continue these untouchable triumps!?!

So, the past little while we haven't really brought the baby up at all. Only for today to have my "why"- questioning 3 year old sit on my lap and ask about the baby.

Today I am in peaceful mourning. What seemed to be so easy for our family has connected us to an experience, which many women and families face every single day. We have lost our baby.