INSIDE OUT

I wasn't sure about whether I was going to share this here or not. I still see hundreds of people viewing (although I'm not sure if that's an error or not). So, for those of you interested in our world, here it is:

We moved back to Ontario from Nova Scotia after realizing that B's heart and soul was found in music. As much as our beloved Nova Scotians love music, it is not a place for a world class pianist to work even part time, nevermind support a one-income family.

We've now been here since the beginning of June. We were blessed to have friends to stay with in order to find a home. We ended up finding a beautiful spot in Guelph with a large backyard and a bit of character to work with. The neighbours have been amazing. We've met almost everyone within two houses on each side. Some brought cake and others have lent tools to work with in various jobs around our home. We're planning on a bbq tomorrow night - invited by another neighbour whose 6 yr old son (same age as S) frequents our home.

And now for the hardest part. So hard, in fact, that I don't think either B nor I have ever had to endure anything this hard in either of our lives. Yet it's still not over: We found mould.

Now, I know all about indoor air toxins. I have removed carpets, matresses, couches, you name it in order to have an indoor air quality that doesn't harmfully effect J who has mild asthma. I make my own cleaners and use nothing but natural ingredients in every washing product in our home. So, when we found this house, we knew there was some mould issues that B could "easily" eliminate with his experience. We took a mild risk as we were told that if we removed some of the wood around where we found the mould, we would rectify the problem. But life isn't that simple sometimes. *sigh*

Exxtremely long story short, after removing the small spot we thought was the only culprit and B wanting to remove the whole basement subfloor (he hates subfloors and I'm SO glad for it now) we found the beginning to B's worst nightmare. There was water pooled under the subfloor with insulation just trapping it there. After removing that mess, B just removed the entire basement, exposing room after room, showing an almost complete infestation with mould colonies - and the worst of its kind: black mould.

So, here we are - over two months later and still not living in the house we are paying for. I'm not quite sure what the light at the end of the tunnel is. I usually have one. I HAVE come up with a few but they are fleeting and barely get me by into my tomorrows. B is feeling no better. With financial strain weighing heavily on us as we lose all of our savings, I can't imagine the burden he carries.

Speaking of B, he has been amazing. I've never seen a man so full of determination, drive, speed... just an unbelievable diligence to get this job done and move his family into a home that is safe. He is truly the hero in this story.

So, a few of the things that keep our head above water is how grateful we are that another family did not buy this home. Perhaps they would not have taken this mould as seriously or been able to even KNOW about it. Perhaps they didn't have someone to do the labour themselves, paying double, if not more, than what we've had to. I just can't imagine the health troubles they might have endured. For this, I'll take it. I'll take living with a different friend every week and now living in a pop-up trailer in our driveway. I'll take it now 'cause it's summer... lets not be fooled. Haha!!

We're hoping to learn a lot from this experience. Lord help us if we have to go through all of this and learn nothing. We are grateful our family is as strong as it is. We have grown stronger through this experience (not without our weak moments, just as before) and are thankful that this has not come between us and changed our family dynamic and our values.

Oh... the kids?? Ha!! They are happier than a pig in mud. They get to go CAMPING in their own backyard!! They spend their whole days outside (rain or shine) and they are enjoying being one with nature while we garden (mostly weed), read under the shade of our silver maple, play in the mud and other various activities which I sometimes neglected before this experience.

We are together. Through good times and bad times. We know some day we will look on this time with a laugh. Right now, we are at least smiling. . It's hard for me to admit I feel down.. even to mySELF. I'm an optimist, afterall. The cup is always half full in my head. Now, however, I have my good days and bad.

We have been blessed to have an amazing community support. Many have taught us more about selflessness and support. Friends who have a newborn baby invited us there to take care of our family of four while B stays behind to deal with this mess. Friends with little time on their hands, reaching out to help B, and family from afar reaching out much love to us. We couldn't do this without their support and we will get through this.

Thanks for reading my "vent". I have so much more to say but little energy to invest in saying it. I hope this all came out the way it was meant: informational with a little "help me God" on the side.