INSIDE OUT

The feelings of a parent, discovering that their children's health, future, education, protection, overall emotional, mental, spiritual well-being is immediately up to them is an amazing task. It is beautiful. But, until you are a parent... it is unimaginable.

Then stop. Something is wrong. You're not sure what, at first. But, you know that something is different than what you're seeing in other children at the park, the playdates, the birthday parties.

What is already a heavy weight carried by you, whether you carry the responsibilities of a parent well or not, is now added to by an additional journey. It is unknown to all who have otherwise "normal" children... And I don't even know the half of it.

Now place the burden of having a child who has some real "issues". Finding out my son had autism rocked my world so hard I didn't know what to do or where to turn. As we had already removed gluten from my son the month before his diagnosis and ALREADY saw changes to his "symptoms", I knew where to keep going. There was something wrong with my son's digestive system and it was causing behavioural issues unimaginable to most. The idea that looking in a person's eyes could be something that person is eating is unthinkable!! To think that someone's discomfort with hugging people has ANYTHING to do with what they're putting in their mouth seems foolish.

Until I saw it with my own eyes.

As cook and nutritional counselor to a home of four other amazing human beings, the burden is placed on me and me alone. I don't have time to get into all the details. You'll have to read back for that. We just firmed up an offer on our house today (YAY) and we are moving half way across the country - again. I am extremely excited but time is not on my side.

I will finish with this: I have recovered my son from almost all of his autism symptoms COMPLETELY. The burden of this is here: when something isn't fixed fully... it's on me. It's my fault. It's because *I* haven't found the answer yet. It's because *I* haven't given him the right food or taken the right food away. It's because I haven't done this or done that and it hurts so much sometimes to have this pressure. When I see a regression in any form whatsoever... it's my fault. I haven't done the right thing somehow. I feel it and it makes sense to me.

Now, I know this sounds like a pity party. And it is. But, there are SOOOO many of you out there who can resonate with me. Now that we find ourselves on this journey of recovering our kids who have been tainted by some-thing, some-where... we know this is our chance to make a change and we have no other choice!! We brought this child or children into this world and it is our job to protect them, heal them, and prepare them to be a loving member of humanity and to offer them the chance to give it back.

I know I "HAVE" done so much already. I do know... believe me I know. But if you're a mom or dad like me out there... you simply know the pressure I'm talking about. It's crazy isn't it!?

My biggest anger is directed at the fact that there are so many families who simply can't afford to make the change. Our grocery bill on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet has tripled. Rice and Potatoes are a cheap filler!! But we can't have those "luxeries" anymore. And what about the "other" things like supplements? We have to get the oils that are not contaminated with mercury... do you KNOW how much that costs a family of five?

The point is, "some" coverage is there for medicine with some of the worst side effects known to the pharmaceutical company. But there is no coverage for some preventative "medicine" that heals the brain and prevents long term dependency on our health care system.

Okay, I digress.

We parents are left all alone to figure this stuff out by ourselves and each other. There are some amazing groups of men and women on forums out in cyberspace who are also on the same path. Thankfully, I have been lucky enough to find some amazing people who have "been there done that" with their autistic children. Pecanbread yahoo groups is one place I've found tremendous help. We all know elimination diets work!! But sometimes there's more to the puzzle and we have to work it out all. by. ourselves. The medical community simply doesn't get it. They are more interested in what you are NOT doing right than what you are.

I will keep fighting this fight no matter how long it takes. But the burden is great. The burden is many. I know I'm not alone. Are you?