INSIDE OUT

I assume that most of us become angry with our kids... at least once or twice. ;) Ever wonder why some moms seem to have it all together and some moms seem to not be able to wait until their kids go to preschool? I do.

Expectations

Yup. That's it!

Okay, it's definitely more complicated than that. But, for the most part, isn't that all that separates us from following through with gentle guidance when our kids don't do what we think they should do?

For instance, I ask my 2 year old to get out of the kitchen (insert me asking from the other side of the room while I'm on the computer). She doesn't listen. But, do I expect her to listen when I'm asking from the other side of the room?

Scenario #2.
I ask 3 year old to clean up his room. Half way TO his room, I turn around to go to the kitchen to cook. I come around the corner a couple minutes later to realize that he not only HASN'T cleaned his room, he's made an even BIGGER mess with band-aids stuck up the wall and half way up his body! But, did I expect him to listen?

Both scenarios might have made me mad and they do sometimes. But, only when I actually expect a young child to listen when I ask them to do something the second I ask it without actually being right there to help them do the "right" thing.

I recently heard of an href="http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/index.php?topic=193359.0">idea that I can somewhat relate to. It discusses the thought that children under 5 are still babies and although they don't need to be "treated" as babies, the expectations we place on them should be somewhat of the same. I will mostly always be there to guide, correct, and encourage my kiddos. But, if I am not within an arms reach to immediately guide them at this age, how on Earth can I possibly expect them to listen?

I will tell you one thing. I expect my kids to listen only when I'm with them and on top of every little thing they do. Once I decide that I'm going to give them a shout-out from across the room, expecting them to obey without question, I've got another thing coming. Kids this age are not a "nuisance" that come between us and the things that WE need to do. We need to find time for ourselves without sticking our noses in front of the computer, television, or crafts while our children are begging for something to do or just needing a hug. 'Our children' are not preventing us from doing the things that we want to do. Our choice to HAVE them might be. But, wasn't that OUR choice, not theirs? Now that we are the ones to take care of them, we can't get angry with them when they don't meet up to our expectations. I'm not saying that we cannot go on the computer or be crafty while they play independently. What I will say is not to be annoyed when you are interrupted.

Sometimes I need to remind myself this.

Today, I'm giving out a lot more hugs.