INSIDE OUT

You know, I can't really tell you why I feel this way. Kids are getting easier. Life is getting easier. Food in this home is as healthy and green as always. Of course, Christmas season has brought more opportunity for eating less healthy, but, I doubt that's it. I've had more outdoor "play" lately. I guess I'm just chalking it up to being too inside myself. 

Moving here was one of the best things our family could do in so many ways. But, I miss my friends. I miss being social every day or other day. I think I just need to go out and socialize more. Not without my kids. I've never done that before so I don't feel the need to do it now. Don't get me wrong, I've met some great people here who are SO full of fun. Maybe I just need to get together with them more often?

I just feel like I've lost my "fun" side. I'm thinking far too seriously about life since moving here. I've got way too much time on my own to think and I've lost my ability to just "be". When I get together with people, I'm caught within myself and lose all capacity to get outside this analytical cave and laugh about whatever silly experiences reach my grasp at the time. To not feel the need to have deep conversation for risk of being bored. I am bored with all this "depth". I want to remember how to play again.