INSIDE OUT

I've had several discussions with B about this. I am so over this whole judgement-justified business of the church. It is not for me, you, the church, or any other man, woman, or child, to EVER... and I mean not once EVER judge another person!

If you think this is sacriligious, just take a good look at Jesus' words when asked what's going to happen in the last chapter of John... Jesus says, "that's not for you to concern yourself with". Or even the words of Paul... "I do not even judge mySELF". Let it be the one who created the opportunity to sin, be the one to judge it. There are "guidelines" in the bible, of COURSE! However, that's for us to use as a "guideline" towards our OWN love for another person. That's for us to use as a guideline to love better than we do and continue to strive to find out what that means towards God and our fellow counterparts!! It is NOT, as it seems to be, a yardstick by which we may use to judge me, you, your sister, brother, mother, friend, stranger... noone. Jesus was perfect. Therefore HE knew who was sinning. We can't go around pretending to be like him as though we are perfect. We are not perfect. Are you? If not, then please don't think that your thoughts on any one topic is perfect. What I do know is that the general theme of the bible is love. It is mercy. It is grace. For me to judge makes me just as much wrong as those whom I might judge. I don't even judge the church for their reasons behind what they do. They have been taught this through generations. I am just saying that if it is hurtful to another one of God's loved, then simply don't do it. I used to think that the parent who yelled at their children in a Walmart parking lot was mean and hurtful. Until I had a day full of hurt, impatience, and in turn, anger and caught myself yelling at my own children. Who am I to judge? I used to think the friend next door, who constantly let her children watch television was not giving her children the BEST of her and that she was lazy... until I realized that without that television, she would have physically harmed her children, desperate for breaks as she dealt with the physical abuse by her own mother. Who am I to judge? I used to think that person who was fat had no self-control and wasn't worth my taxes. Until I heard their story of an over-controlling, abusive parent who didn't let them eat, drink, wear, do, be ANYTHING without being told!!!! Who am I to judge? I used to think the car following up my butt on the highway was a complete jerk, not caring about the safety of my children! Until I found myself in labour and BEGGING B to get me to that hospital or the baby was coming out in our car. Who am I to judge? I used to be homophobic, until I got to know a queer friend who loved God more than I might possibly ever. Until I knew a queer friend who treated their spouse and children far better than some straight people I know. Who am I to judge? I'm sure you're getting my point. But, just in case you haven't, let me hit it home for you just a bit further. Even those who have just murdered someone... you think you can judge THEM?? Well, let me tell you what I believe. I believe that God judges us all on different scales. These scales are unique to each individual. My scales don't look like yours and your scales don't look like mine. I am judged based on what I know, where I've come from, who has raised me, who has influenced me, what chemical composition goes on in our brains, tainted and skewed from all the hormones, chemicals, and God knows what else. You may have come from a comfy home or an unstable home. The way we are raised effects us and paves the way to behaviors that we just can't judge the reasons behind. That person who killed one man just stopped himself from killing ten. God will also judge him according to the GOOD he has done. What you didn't know; what you didn't stop to consider is that he might have just saved nine lives because of the conviction in his heart. He might also have saved an extra ten children because of the conviction in this man's broken heart... but, I bet you didn't consider that. You don't know this man. You just don't know. I believe that we need to judge "actions" in order to prevent people from hurting others, yes. But can we judge the person behind the action? We have the conviction of God written on our hearts, but guess what... are our hearts SO perfect that we can really say what's "right" from "wrong"? Really? Listen, only God knows. Only God can judge. Only God. I used to judge. But how can I? Who am I to judge? Oh yes, I will fall back into the habit of looking at someone and thinking that "I" wouldn't do this or would 'never' do that. But, I'll be getting back on my feet, wiping off this filthy rag of judgment and try, try again. As B asked recently, "what good is it even if I DO judge someone?" Will I change the course of history if I decide what is right from wrong for another person? Again, read that last chapter of John. It's just not our business. So, what is the purpose of the church? To lead them to finding their own pace of truth. To encourage them to pursue God as God pursues them. To welcome those who don't have all the answers and don't pretend to. In conclusion, I can only tell you that you hurt me. I cannot judge your reasons why. I may be able to see that you have hurt your child. I cannot judge your reasons why. I may see that you are different than I am. I cannot judge your reasons why.