InsideOut RSS FeedWHY I am against spanking
I think this debate is quite obvious. For some reason, however, many people (even some who I would think should have thought this through a little better), still believe this "spanking" is justified? But, that's just it! I don't think that people are evil. I think that people really are not thinking this through correctly! They are following in the footsteps of the generation before them. Afterall, a lot of us were spanked and we turned out fine!
However, let's go down that line of thinking for a second. I've met a lot of people on this continent. I've met both men and women who "turned out fine". Ask some of them their story, however, and you will find a less-than-ideal childhood. Some stories of abuse ring in my head as I write this. Does this mean the abuse inflicted upon them was justified just because the end result "turned out fine"? This line of thinking is very weak and in my opinion, fails to justify hitting our children because we were hit and we "turned out fine".
I hear of kids going to school at a very tender age of six and even younger. Some of these kids are getting bullied. Other kids throw pieces of paper at their heads, trip them, kick them and unfortunately, even at this age, some kids are getting hit as they walk by in the hallways. We call this bullying. But, wait! Maybe if the bully wanted something from this victimized child, we shouldn't call it bullying! Maybe we should call it, "directing"! If the victim isn't listening to this bully, afterall, how is this bully going to get the respect they deserve!? Maybe we should call it, "spanking" for the purposes of respect and not, as it were, bullying!
I hear all too often, from mothers who "spank" their children, that it is not "hitting", it is spanking. How much babble is this? Because you are using your hand or another object on your child to get what YOU want, it is not called "hitting"? This is absurd. It is, indeed, bullying your child and you cannot justify yourself in any way beyond this. There IS no rationale for this. It is not mere "guidance". It is lazy and it is hitting. There are many, many ways of disciplining our children, which allow for self respect and self-motivated altruism. Hitting is physically-fear induced, it is mentally-fear induced, it is emotionally-fear induced, and it is wrong!
Please think about this, the next time you go to "hit" your child to get what you want.
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Comments
Well said. I never
Well said. I never understood spanking either. How would you train a child not to hit if you spank them? What message would you be sending: "I am going to hit you because you hit someone else. You better stop the hitting"????? That makes absolutely no sense.
I read this recently and it really solidified my view on spanking:
"When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking--the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with.The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery — one can raise children into violence."
By Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking
Kasia
I couldn't agree with you
I couldn't agree with you more!
I will never understand why voilence inflicted upon children is justified by some people. I was one of those who was spanked as a child, and it only ever taught me to fear the parent who inflicted it upon me. There was no respect there -- only fear. I never once felt that it was an acceptable option for me to use with my own children.
I think that spanking is the "lazy" answer to parenting, and as you said, there are many ways to guide and teach our children without it. It appalls me that some people still feel that spanking is acceptable.
I could not agree more. The
I could not agree more. The thought of spanking my children freaks me out. It is so not an option for our family.