INSIDE OUT

When do the words "organizational skills" stop being a "skill" and start becoming destructive? Don't get me wrong! I could use a little more organization around my home. I just wonder if it's all it's cracked up to be?

I went to a seminar on "organization" today. It was specifically for moms. It was well done and well, well-organized! I think about this topic a lot. No, not about when I'm going to start organizing, but rather, about what is the balance.

B is much more organized than I am. I can be quite disorganized. Something I've had to work on for him. It's only fair that he also work on his "dis"organizational skills for me, don't ya think? Don't you think that if I'm going to go half-way and learn some organizational skills with a grateful attitude that he also learn how to be more disorganized with a grateful attitude? I certainly think so!

Does being more organized make you calmer? Does it create more stress-free living? It certainly doesn't for me! As a mom, organization to me means more destruction OF that organization by my three young destroyers! It makes me a worse parent and a more stressed-out wife!

So what is that balance? Well, I guess for me it's taking the time to organize my home so that we are healthy, happy, and don't upset the people around us (e.g. arriving to appointments on time, being where you'll say you're going to be on time - one issue that I've been trying to organize better at the moment - Thank God for Google Calendar and for Michelle who suggested it), and so that we enjoy spending time together IN our homes. For me, that is represented in my blase attitude about the whole tidyness of my home? My home will not always be tidy. That is just the reality of our world, with three young children under 4. Yet, I'm rarely stressed out by this!

A lot of these moms, at the organization-seminar, were complaining about things like, how their men would put their keys on the counter top, etc. You'd swear these husbands just walked in the door and hit these women up side the head on their way by, how upset they were! If you ask me, I think it's the "organizers" who need to change. No, not change their organizational skills, per se. But, I think an attitude adjustment is in the works. Why are they so distraught by their own obsessive rituals? Just because they feel good about how organized their home is, doesn't make it a "better" home when their husbands and children get nagged all day!

I'm just a bit tired of our cultural ideals on how a GREAT wife does it all and does it well!! At what sacrifice!? I, personally, idealize the 'over' investment of the hearts and minds of my kids! I'm really playing devil's advocate here. I want moms (at least those who feel this type of pressure) to stop feeling like they have to work so hard at all the "other" stuff. Invest into how to have happy-hearted kids! I don't want my gravestone to read:

Here lies Dawna, "she was such an organized sort."

This world needs people who are organized! I just don't want the pressures to lie on us moms with young kids!

Here's my favorite quote and I wish I knew the original author: "An untidy house is a sign of a mom who spends time with her kids." Now, I like this quote a lot because I'm untidy. ;) However, please note that it is strictly intended for humor for us "disorganized sorts" and not meant to imply that those who are, in fact, tidy do NOT spend time with her kids.

So what's the balance? Attitude! If we can do this on a daily basis and not become upset when it doesn't work out, while our spouse and/or kids get "in the way", then I'd say we're doing this "organizational" thing well. I know for myself, I could work on a better attitude all day long, but, at the end of the day, my home is still less than "organized" and I probably wouldn't have spent enough time with my husband and/or kids! I also realize that kids can help out and husbands can be respectful but, again, I'm playing devil's advocate here. I really just don't hear enough for the "other" side of things. If we're not able to handle being so "organized" with a peaceful attitude (which makes sense with young children), then might I respectfully suggest we all give way to a more peaceful, "dis"organized home.